i refuse

been a while since my last post. been busy like mad. but then i read someone's blog today and it inspired me to write this new post. the person will know where i got this if they read it.


I Refuse

I Refuse to ignore the little people, but get ingnored myself

I Refuse to take advantage of people, but i myself taken advantage of

I Refuse to turn down people that ask for my help, yet i never ask

I Refuse to stand by and not help people that need it most even though they dont ask, but when it comes to me....no one comes

I Refuse to let people stand out in the rain, but yet i get soaked

I Refuse to be the guy that plays girls, but yet IM the one that gets played

I Refuse to not help people come in first, yet i always come last

I Refuse to not offer my shoulder to anyone that needs it, yet im always the one leaning on the wall

in spite of all this i still refuse to not be who i am.

my mind is pulling u-turns........

what.........

what is it that im trying to search for?....

what is out there for me to find?....

what is it that im trying to achieve?.......

what is it that im trying to do?...........

what is it that i aspire to be?...........

what is it that i want?......

what is it that i NEED?.....

what is coming for me?.....

what am i coming to?......

what am i becoming?.....

the real question remains though........

why..........

randomness

i havent made a post in a mad long time so i decided to do one. LOL
ok so my midterms are comin up and holy shit i havent studied AT ALL! need to buckle down in college cuz its DAYUM expensive LOL. so ya thats kinda stressin me out a tad. and my mom aint helpin either, always stressin me out. but what can i do right? gotta persevere through my adversities cuz i can c that brighter side through the rain. LOL got some philisophical content in there ;) LMAO anyways i wanted to keep it breif, more to come soon. PEACE

frozen strawberries FTW!!!

what the hell!

holy frig man today i was so out of it i swear i prolly tripped over myself like 234654 times and while i was cooking today for school i screwed up SOOO Many times it was ridikalous LOL i dunno im hoping that 2moro ill b in better shape LOL. and 2moro im going on this boat cruise thing for my school and im hoping its good cuz ill most likely be going by myself so HOPEFULLY ill be in an outgoing mood or else im gonna be totally bummed out and lonely and ill feel like a loser and shit and that wont be very fun will it? LOL

people often confuse infactuation with love. people think because they cant stop thinking about the person and cant so jealous and shit that they think its love. and people think that love is all that corney shit like, "i cant stop tihnking about you" or "your all i need". NO. love isnt any of that shit. of course you need that person like crazy but there will be other people that you need, like family or other very close friends. theres also other types of love. the one that im mainly talking about is the one you have for ONE person. i dont believe that u can love more then one person, at a time at least, thats just wrong. but theres love that you have for family, theres love that u have for your closest friends and theres love for matieral things or things that you do. im talking about the love you have for 1 person because thats the one that people get confused with because people are made to believe that love is something that it isnt. or sometimes they just get confused and start to think that thats what it is. but to be real with u this is just what i feel it is, without the filters of social standards and media in the way. it took me alot of thinking to come up with that conclusion. and taken me a longer time to adjust to what it really is. even though i havent personally felt something that ideal i know what it is and i pray that i can find it. and even though not many people may think that love is what i tihnk it is, in the end its what YOU tihnk it is and what YOU feel it must be.

love..........

love....
what is its true definition?

is it the text book definition?
"a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person."

no

is it physical attraction?

no

is it when your obsessed with something or someone?

no

is it when you cant your mind off that someone for one single moment?

no

love......

love is.....

love is complicated but the feeling is so simple

love is sometimes harder to find then the greatest treasure but we all search for it

love is something that you never see coming but you can see it when its there

love is when you cant stand to be apart but you give them their space

love is when your brought to your peak of happiness but the next it could bring you to your lowest

love is what you find out of the blue and not in places where you think it would be

love is what you feel, it's not what people sing in a song, it's not what you think it would be sometimes but when it hits you like a brick wall, you know because it's gonna be something like you've never felt before or ever will again....