random thoughts

im just chillin in my bed listening to music and all i could think about was how boring my life has been! like wtf. the first thing that comes to my mind when i think about my high skool life was how boring it was. i NEVER went out, well hardly. and even during the summers id go out like maybe 10 times the enitre summer or sumtimes even less. and i have pretty much nothing to show for my high school life. i never went to parties or anything, i never really had anything super interesting happen to me. like theres little things here and there but its mostly empty LOL. and i kinda stress about my college life cuz its HALF the time of high school and during the first week of school, which is frosh week, ive done NOTHING!!! ive only gone to class and came back home. and then i c all these other ppl out partying and having a good time and living their lives and all i can think is, why cant i do that? like i aint trying to say that im a party animal or sumthing and i wanna go out and get drunk and shit, that aint me but man i like to party! who doesnt right? ive hardly ever partied! i feel as if i havent lived my life as a teenager and yo ima be 20 years old when im done school. thats pushing old to me. LOL and with my profession it requiers a shit load of my time so ill hardly ever have time for partying or anytyhing so fuck i wanna live my life while i can! i feel like i wanna go back in time and start alll over and take advantage of my youth. youth only lasts so long and i dont wanna act and be older then i actually am. i wanna be a teenager for once and not some1 that goes and gets what they HAVE TO get done, done and call it a day. i dont want that, at least not yet im not ready to leave behind my social life, NOT EVEN CLOSE! so i wanna get out there andd party, make friends, and all that shit. i just wanna do things that ppl my age do. i dont wanna be doing things that ppl that are 50 years old do. I WANNA BE MY AGE!!!